Over the last two years, I finally (major emphasis on that word) finished the novel I have been kicking around in my head for the better part of a decade. A whole ass decade!!
I largely have the pandemic to thank (really weird to thank such a horrible thing, lol) for getting it off the ground. When I started working from home permanently on March 13, 2020…
To stay sane, I freelance and work on a couple of passion projects. And you know what? My boss loves it because it keeps me happy and motivated, which in turn, makes me a better worker for my company.
I am a firm believer in the fact you need to make time for the things you love. By doing so, you’ll create a healthy work/life balance and not feel drained by your day job. It should go without saying, but it’s important to not lose your passions after you accept a job, especially if your new profession is demanding.
When you have a steady income, that can make the side projects you have feel much more fulfilling. There isn’t pressure to hold down your creative side, You have the freedom to try different things, like taking the cooking class you always wanted to try. Take up painting or photography. I write in my spare time; throughout the work day, I’m able to write a bit on breaks and over lunch. Not only does it feed my soul, it boosts my brain and gives me a burst of energy, especially when I have hit a wall.
The other nice thing about having a day job and with various passion projects on the side is that it not only shows you can manage your time well, but that you have a diverse set of interests. This builds your set of skills too, which makes your resume look great when you’re looking for a new job.
You can even turn your creative side projects into money makers. Become an expert in something you enjoy by taking an online class or getting a certification, then doing some freelance work on the side.
Keeping a creative side hustle keeps your brain sharp, your resume stacked, and your life full. Make time for something you love each day – your soul will thank you!
Over the last decade, it’s no secret that social media has wildly grown and become an essential piece of our daily lives. There are SO many pros to using a social media network, like connecting with friends, co-workers, family, or meeting awesome new friends. We can make connections around the globe and aren’t limited to the people who live in our vicinity. It’s truly a beautiful thing, when used correctly.
For me, Facebook became a site I logged into out of habit and rarely enjoyed my visit. I would endlessly scroll through the timeline and became increasingly annoyed at most of the posts I read. I got to a point where I would log in and think, “Why am I even here?”
Sure, I enjoyed seeing updates from friends and family about their happy lives, but i could no longer tolerate or scroll past the users who would blindly share incorrect information or misleading/fake news stories. I wanted to shake the person posting and scream, “Seriously, it takes 30 seconds to open Google and verify something these days!” I even texted a friend and said those exact words. Their response? They didn’t care or think it was a big deal. I finally reached a breaking point.
I decided to actually do something about it. I couldn’t continue correcting people in the comments (yeah, it’s fine, I was that person…). It was time for me to bid my adieus and bow out gracefully. But that isn’t the answer for everyone!
How do you know a social media detox, whether it’s in the form of deactivation or deletion, is right for you? Start by asking yourself these questions:
That third question was a big YES for me and that’s how I knew it was time to detox. I ended up deleting my Facebook account in May after having it for 12 years. TWELVE YEARS! I mean, the archive this website had on me was insane (which, to be honest, was a great reason to delete it). I was worried I would have a serious case of FOMO, but I don’t. Sure, I miss connecting with friends and family but deleting has (happily) forced me to make phone calls and send texts/emails to the people I love.
I still have Twitter and Instagram, but I’ve changed my habits on both of those platforms after this detox. I took a small break from posting anything on those networks and even deleted the apps off my iPhone for a couple of weeks. I missed those much more than Facebook, though. It didn’t take long to reinstall those and I didn’t have a sense of dread when I did. I kind of had the “first day of school” feeling — you know, when you’re excited to get back to see all your friends and hear about what they did during the break!
When I decided to end my detox with Twitter and Instagram, the first two questions I mentioned before were now easily answered: yes, these do bring joy to my life (but also to pass time when I am waiting for someone or something), and yes, I did miss it when I didn’t have it. That’s how I knew I took enough time away.
Deleting Facebook was a bigger decision, given I was connected with family and friends. That, and I used Facebook for professional purposes. I help moderate several pages and groups on different networks for the podcasts on which I work, and I simply can’t abandon them. I found a way to work around this and still have a successful detox and/or removal of my main account, but it does require some effort.
Would I detox again? Absolutely. I think it’s healthy to take a break from everything in life every now and again – it’s just like taking a vacation from work. Sometimes you just need to unplug!
Calling all creatives, professionals, and lifelong learners! If you’re a vina who enjoys learning something new or honing a skill you have tucked away in your back pocket, there are many resources available around the web that can fulfill your educational needs on the cheap. Some require subscriptions, are free, and others are pay-per-course. Below, I’ve gathered some of my favorite sites to take online classes that are not only fun, but provide a great end-user experience.
Brit+Co is a great place to browse for classes. Prices are in the $25-50 range (never more than $90) and they offer many online classes to help you cultivate your creative side. The artsy courses they provide include calligraphy, how to kill it on Instagram, cookie decorating, how to throw a great cocktail party, and much more!
Level up and take a course with your vinas! They have a cool painting course you can purchase for a lovely Saturday night in with your vinas for just $29.00! Hit up your local hobby store to purchase the supplies (a list is provided) and have everyone pitch in to make it even more affordable. Just don’t forget the wine and snacks!
There are a few sites you can check out for courses that will help you advance your career. One of them is Canvas, the network that provides classes taught by some of the most prestigious universities in the world for free! Learn about Molecular Epidemiology from Ohio State University or The Best Practices for Biomedical Research Data Management from Harvard Medical School. Browse their course catalog to see if there’s something that piques your interest!
Skillshare is another favorite I discovered last year when a writer I follow on Twitter, Ashley C. Ford, promoted a course she was teaching about creative writing. Their categories include Creative, Lifestyle, Business, and Technology. There’s truly something for everyone; you can learn about accounting, management, graphic design, web development, and so much more—all taught by seasoned professionals. Skillshare is a paid service. You can either pay $15/month or $99/year. I recommend signing up for their free trial (an entire month) so you try before you buy.
Got some cash to burn and want to learn something from someone famous? Got’cha covered, babe. I’m a big fan of MasterClass, a site where you can learn specific skills or professions from the greats themselves. Take a course on cooking taught by Gordon Ramsay, learn photography from Annie Leibovitz, or enroll in a class on writing by Judy Blume or James Patterson. Each instructor provides video and workbook (PDF) lessons and walks you through how they’ve becoming successful over the course of their varied careers.
Once you enroll, you can go at your own pace and get involved with other classmates through their community, The Hub. The courses are $90/each but if you plan to take more than one or two in a calendar year, I highly recommend the year pass for $180. It’s so worth it!
Now that I’ve given you some different venues to check out, open up your browser and start checking out what these sites have to offer. You’re sure to find something you enjoy, either solo or to take with some friends. Don’t forget to share with us what you find in the comments below!
When faced with a tough situation, how do you handle it? Do you clam up or ask for advice? If you’re like me, you seek advice from all the strong people around you to help you move forward. I usually look to my vinas, my family, or my husband to help me sort through the mess.
Over the years, I’ve been given some great advice but hands down, the best advice I’ve ever received came from my father. During a very difficult time of our lives, I was trying to make sense of a terrible situation and wanted to keep trying to “fix” things. Everything I offered came up short and I felt lost. Then, he said to me:
“Be silent. Be still.”
Those four little words smacked me right upside the head. I, having been a talker and a fixer for most of my life, really took it to heart. I don’t need to respond to everything. I don’t need to fix everything. It’s comparable to the iconic song “Let It Be” by The Beatles— I just needed to learn how to simply sit back and let things work themselves out.
This advice was sort of like the phrases, “this too shall pass” and “don’t feed the trolls” but seemed so simple and easier to follow. Once I realized the impact being silent and still could make, it was much easier to deal with the situation. That, and not adding fuel to the fire helps it burn out quicker.
Pondering this, I wondered what others had to offer. I asked several vinas: What is the best advice you’ve ever received? The response blew me away; I would have to publish a book to include them all! I sifted through the advice given by many of these women and gathered a pretty solid list here to pass along to you. These range from general life advice to handling relationships. You’re going to want to bookmark this one, babes!
“You’re never going to be good at it until you’re not afraid to be bad at it.” – Erin
“Your greatest passions can often be found within your deepest wounds.” – Danielle
“Stop and ask yourself: is this going to matter in five days? Five months? Five years from now? Almost always, the answer is no.” – Haley
“There’s no hope for a better past, only for a better future.” – Elizabeth
“Don’t complain about a problem without trying for a solution.” – Jessie
“No one will advocate for you but you!” – Jenna
“It’s OK to walk away from toxic people for your own mental health, even when it’s an immediate family member.” – Erin
“Approach every argument in a relationship as US versus THE PROBLEM, instead of YOU versus ME.” – Allisa
“The 3-Cs from AL-ANON has helped me immensely—not just with loved ones and addiction, but with relationships and dealing with others’ issues in general: I didn’t cause it, I can’t control it, I can’t cure it.” – Bridget
“You can’t control others, only yourself. You do you and the rest will come.” – Abby
“People can say whatever they want about you. You just make sure it isn’t true.” – Cee
“What other people think of you is none of your business.” – Meron
“Don’t start none, won’t be none.” – Mona
“You don’t want bangs – you want therapy.” – Anastasia
What’s the best advice YOU ever received?
Want to live longer? Me too— let’s be friends!
But seriously, did you know your friendships can help you live longer? Friends are the family you choose, after all, and they are the people who are there for you through good times and bad. In fact, research has backed up the idea that friendships keep us going.
Long-lasting friendships do so much for your well-being— your mental, physical, and emotional health can benefit greatly from creating and cultivating friendships throughout the course of your life. There’s hard proof, too. According to The Mayo Clinic, friendships can not just create a sense of belonging, but they can improve your sense of self-worth, boost your confidence, and make you happier. It makes total sense. Friends build you up—they help you see your worth and feel important!Via Pinterest
When you’re going through a hard time, it always helps to turn to your friends to help get you through it. Coping with trauma is a heavy burden to bear. If you lean on your friends, the dark times associated with these traumas can seem a little bit lighter.
Friends also encourage you to be healthier. Think about it: Have you ever hit the gym or taken a yogaclass with one of your vinas? You can keep each other motivated to make healthy choices and stay on the wellness path. The Mayo Clinicwrites that “adults with strong social support have a reduced risk of many significant health problems, including depression, high blood pressure and an unhealthy body mass index (BMI).”
If that isn’t enough to convince you, there’s more proof: A study conducted by the University of Michigan aimed to find links between close relationships and overall wellness throughout life. The study found “the quality of these relationships has been linked to healthier behavior, lower incidence of chronic illnesses, higher levels of happiness and lower mortality. Researchers typically believe that the enhancing effects of investing in close relationships are present throughout life.”
So if you have a small circle of friends right now, expand it! Get out there and make some new friends. Using the Hey! VINA app is a great place to start to find some new like-minded gal pals and form forever friendships. According to these studies, it doesn’t matter when you start forming those tight bonds—but the longer they are present in your life, the better off you’ll be.