by Nicole | Apr 11, 2023 | Substack, Writing
Just press publish. Just write. Just put it out there.
These short, little statements keep this publication going.
When I first launched this Substack it was my intention to, as my About pagesays, “to come out from under the rock I’ve been hiding under as a writer and share my words with the world.” I’ve spent most of my writing life by keeping it private, only sharing some essays/reflections here and there on my website.
I yearned to be the type of writer who wasn’t afraid of sharing her work, who wasn’t afraid to hit publish, regardless if something wasn’t perfect or finished. I mean, if you saw the literal stack of journals and notebooks that contain rough drafts of poetry, musings, journaling, free writing, etc., you would probably be like “girl, you’re sitting on SO much, why aren’t you sharing it?!” Or maybe you’d be like “eeeeeeeehhhh I’d keep that one in the journal forever, babe!” 🤷🏼♀️
by Nicole | Mar 14, 2023 | Substack, Writing
It’s incredibly weird to think we’ve been living in a pandemic for three years. Yet, here we are!
Today (I’m writing this on March 12) is the anniversary of when I started working from home five days a week. I was used to one or two days at home. I lived for those days — it was an opportunity for me to be heads down, cut down on distractions, and increase my productivity. These things were lost when I was physically in an office.
Then, on the afternoon of March 12, 2020, I received an email saying our offices would be closing and all non-essential in-person personnel would be working remotely for a few weeks. At the time, my company kept saying things like we’ll be doing this for three to six weeks, max, just to let things settle, then we’ll come back…
by Nicole | Feb 28, 2023 | Substack, Writing
In 1993, I was nine and in fourth grade. My parents were separated, getting divorced, and I was bullied on the playground at school. I didn’t understand why I was angry all the time. I remember my teacher asking me how I was doing in light of the divorce and I said “GREAT! Maybe now the fighting will stop.” (Spoiler: it didn’t!)
If I could talk to that nine year old now, I’d tell her to keep her chin up and in ten years, literally none of this will matter. And I know it wouldn’t help her much, but I’d hug her tight and promise that her life will be great in a few short years.
by Nicole | Feb 7, 2023 | Substack, Writing
When I was a kid, I desperately wanted to be famous.
My parents gave me a Star Search microphone stand for Christmas when I was seven (or eight?) and I would perform for their friends and our family during gatherings. I’d climb up onto our giant brick fireplace and stand in front of the wood burning stove and sing my little heart out. I would watch Kids Incorporated and sing along with Stacy (Fergie!) and Robin (Jennifer Love Hewitt!).
In middle and high school, I got into theater and choir because I still wanted to be famous. I loved singing, especially in front of an audience. I yearned for the spotlight, enjoyed every second of being on stage, performing alongside my friends. I sang the national anthem at some home basketball games and lived for the applause at the end. Someone told me they heard me “kill it” on the local radio station that was covering the game and I rode that high for months.
When I graduated, I intended to get my first year of college done then go on to Indiana University and major in voice performance. One week into my college career, I realized I didn’t have the desire to be a starving artist the rest of my life, so I better find something else! Fast forward a few years, after a couple of false starts and several doubles in the restaurant biz, I found myself back on campus getting an English degree, with a focus on writing and literacy.
Shortly after I got back into the college routine, I had an experience that made me never want to be in the spotlight again.
This essay is published in full on my Substack.
Part 1 // Part 2 // Part 3
by Nicole | Jan 10, 2023 | Substack, Writing
Over the last two years, I finally (major emphasis on that word) finished the novel I have been kicking around in my head for the better part of a decade. A whole ass decade!!
I largely have the pandemic to thank (really weird to thank such a horrible thing, lol) for getting it off the ground. When I started working from home permanently on March 13, 2020…